Car is dead... offically, F*CKED! Removing my independence.

House is suffering from damp - STILL, and have big damp patches climbing the walls in the living room.

My Dad isn't speaking to me because he thinks his girlfriend was right to have a go at me when I was 38 weeks pregnant and then chastise me for not responding within 4 hours to an email she sent me when Dom was about 2 weeks old!

My cousin is now courying in with my Dad's girlfriend and leaving sooky little cutesie messages on facebook, which obviously hurts me because I don't get to speak to my Dad at all now because of her.

I don't trust my mums new found affection for me (she keeps coming to visit).

A large number of my friends were too busy to come to my "headwetting".

I can't loose baby weight and I hate my post preg body.

I think my son hates me.

I'm convinced that Jamie is going to get fed up with my moaning, and lack of confidence in my body and piss off.

And at Dominics 8 week check I was asked if I'm suffering from Post Natal Depression...

What do I say?

I visited Kwik-Fit in March as I needed to have a tyre replaced on an alloy wheel. I specifically asked for the wheel to be put back in the boot and not on the car, as I knew that the staff would try to upsell tyres/ brakes/ exhausts, that I simply didn't need. However, the supervisor at the time had the wheel put on the car and then told me that my brakes needed to be changed. There was no issue before my visit, but when I left the branch after the work had been completed, my brakes were no longer working correctly and it was causing great problems. I took the car back to the branch, who told me that I would need to have the brakes replaced at a cost of around £130. As a consequence I stayed away from Kwik Fit, opting for a local garage for all my motoring needs.

At the weekend just gone (28/29th Nov), I needed to have the battery replaced in my car, urgently. I called into the Corstorphine Road branch. The manager quoted me £63 for my new battery and told me to bring my car along. I had to negotiate getting the car jump started and so arrived on Saturday at the branch. I was then told (with no way of removing my car) that it would now cost me in the region of £90 to have the battery replaced, obviously more than a slight change in price from what the MANAGER of the branch had quoted me. However, with no alternative, I agreed for the battery to be changed and somehow the price came down a little, but not to the original £63. It took the workman 45 mins to change things over and I took the car away. That evening, I was trying to get home when all the electrics in my car started to play up and then the whole vehicle came to a stop and could not be started. I was stuck at a set of traffic lights with my 2 month old son in the back and no way to get home. I got a push from two strangers and somehow that started the car, and I made it home, albeit a little stressed. The car seemed to work ok, but as a precaution, I arranged for the Corstorphine Road Branch to look it over and make sure that they had fitted it correctly (as there was no problem with the car before it's visit to Kwik-Fit, save for the dead battery). On my way to the branch, I experienced the same fault with the electrics and again the car died. This time I could not start it, and one of their staff kindly came to retrieve the car. Upon arrival back at Corstorphine Road, they told me that the Alternator had gone, this is something that I know should have been checked when the battery was fitted originally, but it has now mysteriously become faulty. I am now facing a cost of over £200 that I truly believe should not exist.

I have no faith in this company, I hate that I have to use them or any of their sister companies... the truth is, if you need your car tended to on a Saturday or Sunday, you've no choice but to give these scammers money, and lots of it! An Alternator for my car costs no more than £60 NEW, so they are expecting to charge me £160 in labour??????????? Going to source alternatives tomorrow, for now, I go to sleeps!!!!!

Isn't it funny how you focus on the bad soooooo much?

I should be grateful for the people that obviously care or give a shit and behave like they want to be my friend and yet I'm continually upset by those who I know will let me down.

It's really stupid but I can't help being hurt over and over again by the same people, then I forgive them, then I get my hopes up that they will come through for me, then they let me down and I feel like the world is caving in.

Obviously, this is not about anyone on here, you guys are all sound as pounds and worth a million bucks! So if any of you have any thoughts on how I can sort this one out, I'm open to suggestions!!!!

I should point out that it seems if you were born into the same gene pool as me (ie, a relative) then you're going to p1ss all over me, only exception being my brother (we fell out but I know why that was and it was actually neither of our faults)! Therefore Kit, we can't be sisters, you'd never treat me like crap, I'm confident of that!

Apparently I'm low on agreeableness, this means I'm forthright and don't beat about the bush, most of you have been at the receiving end of my "Agreeable" personality but I do hope that you all know that it's never meant as an attack, it is only borne of the frustration at my seeing how you can be helped! If I didn't say anything at all, then I'd guess I didn't care.

One day I'll learn to expect nothing of anyone and that way I won't be let down... until that time, expect more rants like this every now and then!

If you are lucky enough to ever get one of these - NEVER GET RID OF IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!!

I had one, had to get rid of it because we needed a bigger car for the little one... the "new" car is a disaster. I hate it, hate it, hate it and I want my PUG back! Stupid bloody thing conked out on me while I was sat at a traffic light that was being overridden by a police officer, so needless to say, I pissed off (sorry my junk car pissed of) lots of Rugby revellers! It died on me the other night while I took Jamie to work and I freaked out, and I freaked out again today because it always happens when I'm alone with Dominic. If i were by myself it'd be fine, but I have to worry about how I go and get help when I have to take him with me.

Embarrisingly, I got pushed out of the way by a couple of guys and then the bloody thing started! GRRRRRRR

ok, baby is 2 months old... under normal circumstances, I'd still have another 10 months of maternity leave in my scope, but things being as the are (credit crunch) I actually had to go back to work 2 weeks ago (albeit for 2 hours a week).

Now, I worked during the summer as a contractor, in a pretty cool place to be honest, the folk were great, the job was easy and made complete sense, it was good (as jobs go). Now despite my 6 hours a day on Facebook and checking yahoo and chatting on MSN and Skype, they want me back, they want me back BAAAAAD! Yesterday I had 3 calls from an agency and an email DIRECT from one of the guys I worked with, asking if I'd go back. I have had another call this morning and I just can't decide what to do!

so:

PROS -
* Get to work with a great people
* Money is never going to be unappreciated
* The job is good
* Get to have adult conversation (ok, Trek talk and banter about Southpark and Family Guy)
* I could afford to buy some necessary equipment for Rear View

CONS -
* I'd miss my boy sooooo much
* I'd have to arrange childcare which may negate any money I earn
* I don't really WANT to go back to work but if i don't take this then REALLY need the money I'll kick myself
* It has the potential to set back Rear View development

HEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that I haven't married Jamie, but I saw this posted somewhere and it summed up how I feel! Jamie is amazing, he's my perfect guy. Dominic is my miracle! :D

Ok,

So, it may not be the desired way to do this but at least I know that there is an end point! I go in on Friday for some drugs and a scan to get the "ball rolling" as it were... It's a shame because I didn't want baby born on 10th October. My Nana's birthday is the 10th October and she died last year, it'd kinda hang over the litttle dude, or at least I fear it would, so I'd have preferred another date... just an earlier one!!! lol. Who knows though, he may hold out to the 11th or beyond - oh please no!

I was REALLY emotional on Friday, I was crying at EVERYTHING. I am not upset with the little one or anything, but I am frustrated that he's supposed to be here and he's not yet! Add to which, I have texts DAILY from nearly everyone I know saying "any news yet", "he not here yet", "you not a mum yet" or something which just reminds me that he was meant to be here last weekend! I love that people care, but honestly, you'd know if he was here, I'd tell you. Text me about random stuff to take my mind off PLEASE just not that!

So anyway, I'm still grumpy, still fed up, and still uber keen to meet my little man. Send happy thoughts!!!!

11 days and no hot water.

The agent seems to think its acceptable to leave someone in a house with no hot water for 11 days. I actually hate that everytime something goes wrong I have to play the "yes but i'm pregnant" card. Quite frankly, pregnant or not, I shouldn't have to wait 11 DAYS to get hot water!

My WC is also in disrepair after the light fitting started raining on us yesterday! oh I do not mean a light drizzle, this was a fully fledge monsoon! It now stinks in there and has no ceiling! Wonder how many months this will take to sort out?

I got told by their contractor that I had DRY ROT in my kitchen (because the kitchen roof is leaking - or was, that MAY have actually been fixed). The contractor told me that it was harmless... I looked up the internet, and it's TOXIC. If it is dry rot (to be honest these guys can't be trusted) then it will develop little spores that, if breathed in, will grow little mushrooms in my lungs, jamie's lungs BABY'S lungs... so obviously I want clarification on this!

We have drafted a 3 page letter to the board of directors, and I am going to phone citizens advice in a few minutes (I hope I can speak to someone).

I'm not going crazy am I? This isn't acceptable????

PEOPLE SUCK, I HATE PEOPLE! PEOPLE SUCK! PEOPLE SUCK! PEOPLE SUCK!

Relax, flop, breathe!

Oh, did I mention that people suck????

You know, it's really weird when I look at posts "pre" J, I was really messed up in the year leading up to meeting him and only just sorted ma sh1t out prior to meeting him. It seems like a different world/ life ago when I read those entries now! It makes me wonder how these entries are going to read after bump arrives. I mean, when I have talked about 'the baby' in entries previous to May, I had no idea if it was a he or a she, but now I know it's a boy, i find it hard to read those entries without putting a boy slant on the picture in my head. But then, when he comes along, the picture is going to change again... I have no idea (right now) what he's going to look like, but in a month, I WILL!

Also, like it or not, I'm not a Mum just yet (ok I am but I don't have to do motherly things just now), so I have no idea what that's going to be like, or WHO I'm going to be when I am a Mum, again in a month I'll know! Will I be different? I already have a different attitude to certain things as a result of my little dude!

I've also become very straight down the middle. I used to find it easy to get swept up in the drama of peoples lives, but now, when I see 'drama' or other peoples perceptions of what is drama, I just think how it ISN'T a big deal and that they just need to think logically! It irritates me when people can't see things as simply as they are! I know that sometimes all we need is a wee push to show us what's a big deal and what isn't but I also get the impression that many people LIKE the drama and would rather seek consort from people they know will pander to their whims rather than give them the honest, quick to solve answer! I wonder if this is a Mum thing????

Oh I feel bad, well, actually not bad... I have been using LJ as a diary... I figure it's the point, and so I spew a lot of crap out into it, but don't always make things public, particularly when I know I'm just ranting for the sake of ranting. Sometimes, when I read things back though, I kinda feel like I've over reacted or been a cow... but then, I suppose that's part of the point isn't it? I mean, I'm not going to love everyone all the time with no issue, not even myself... but this really does help put things in perspective, I can read it all back and see where I'm at now in comparison with a few days/ weeks/ months ago!

Now, I'm really er... poopin myself!!! lol!

I was at the midwife this morning, and all checks are good, good position, good heart rate, good size (actually think he might be a wee chub coz he's STILL bigger than average). Had my first "parentcraft" class on Monday and it started to bring it all home, and this morning I'm informed that the head has dropped 2/5ths of the way down, so basically, he's on his way! He could stay like this for a wee while, and it doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to be here in a week or anything, but my suspicions are increasing that he will not get to his due date... in fact EVERYONE is wagering between 7 - 14 days!!!! EEEEK! When J mentioned a wager of 10 days to the midwife, she didn't dismiss it!!!

I'm soo excited though, I can't wait to meet him! :D

BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY HORMONAL RANT BOUNCY!

I totally didn't buy into this 'nesting' crap that I heard sooo much about. I honestly thought, 'there's NOTHING that's going to make me tidy the house ffs'!!!!

Hmmm, how wrong could I be... It's not so much a feeling of wanting to tidy, but a COMPULSION! What's worse is that EVERYTHING has to be taken off shelves and dusted. I used to (when forced into the housework crapola) just kinda take a rag and basically run over everything.

When it gets sucky is when there are things I can't do. I built a couple of DVD racks yesterday and still have a chest of drawers to build for the little un. However, the DVD racks (which are not that big or heavy) just about killed me, the bump was AGONY, so the chest of drawers will have to wait until Daddy has time to do it!

Still have lots to do, although I've sorted Kitchen, livingroom and bathrooms. The Office is the albatross that I don't want to think about, but it is going to have to be done, just a huge job is all!

I'm just glad that the chaos of re flooring is all done, so now I can actually get on with gathering my twigs and fluff! :D

1.YOUR REAL NAME
Gillian Jones

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Ann Nowt

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
George Henry

4.Porn Star Name (first pet and first street you lived on)
Fred Crewe

5.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Jongi

6.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Blue Lab

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning
The Green Pepsi

8.FLY GIRL/GUY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Gies

9.HOOD NAME:(favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Banana Oat

10.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name, add izzle to the end)
Jonizzle

11. YOUR GOTH NAME:(write in black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Ju

12. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Flea Western

13. YOUR HIPPIE NAME: (what you ate for breakfast plus favorite tree?
Bic Chestnut

14. YOUR CRIMINAL NAME: (name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy bar)
Issey Mars

15. YOUR CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit plus garment you’re wearing, with an “ie” or “y” added)
Raspberry Robey

16. YOUR SPY NAME (favorite season/ favorite flower)
Summer Rose

I just read this this morning, through some nutrition peeeash that gets sent to me on a regular basis, sometimes I read, sometimes I ignore... today I read, interesting; -


Your fist is about the same size as one portion of fruit

Your thumb (tip to base) is the size of one portion of cheese

Your palm (minus fingers) equals a portion of meat, fish or poultry

Your cupped hand equals one portion of nuts or pretzels

My mac in cheese is defo out then, given that it's not a thumb of cheese, more like a foot! :p

So, we moved into our house ooo, 4 months ago.

Shortly after move day, we noticed that water was leaking out over the bathroom floor, so we reported it to the landlords, or should I say the letting agents. They gave us a humidifier to run constantly and clear up the ever flowing damp (a futile effort I'm sure you can imagine).

Turns out that the bath wasn't sealed and so showers and baths/ condensation were contributing to the free flow of water into our floor. So they got a plumber to seal it... great! Well, great until we realised it was still leaking. So out comes plumber again, oops, the bath taps haven't been sealed either, so they seal them... great! Well, great until we realised it was still leaking... Turns out the washing machine has been boring a hole through a minor pipe (by which time we're into June). Only a DAY after replacing the MINOR pipe, the house was nearly taken away to sea when, during a cycle of the washing machine that we were told we could use, a MAJOR water intake pipe then burst filling the entire house to a good few inches of water in under 10 mins! Obviously by this stage in the game we've got serious damp problems, with me (Ms Prognoid) and J both having Asthma.

That weekend, I ran a wash on the washing machine that we were told we could use, and it simply went pop and died!

So, we've been running back and forth to Haddington for 3 weeks to get our washing done (as the closest family member, we had little choice).

We were promised the new washing machine on Thursday, it came on Friday!

The work was to start on Thursday, with completion of at least the bathroom on Friday, so that we had a functioning house for the weekend! WHAT A JOKE!!!!!!

Work progressed well on Thursday, with the exception of the washing machine, they got a fake floor down and sealed the bath (so at least we can be clean, so long as we don't hurt ourselves on the non laid floor).

On Friday, they asked us if they could remove a couple of the floors (which would be a pain over the weekend) to get ahead of schedule, so we agreed. We went out, because a) we didn't want to be in their way, and b) we didn't want to be subjected to lots of dust that would be kicked up from the work!

We came back on Friday night to find that EVERY floor in the house had been ripped up, but they didn't take it away... nope... they left every inch of flooring that they had taken off, OUTSIDE the front door, leaving me (8 months preg) ONE FOOT of space to get in and out of my house! As inconvenient as this was... it's only for a weekend right? I mean, the timescales we agreed to were that the floors will begin to be laid today - MONDAY!

So, they men came this morning, started to clear up the wood from the front of the house, so we said to them that we would, again, leave them to get on with things. We came home at 5pm, they had done NOTHING! I am sitting here with aching ribs because of all the dust I'm breathing in, with foam all over the floor, that I keep tripping over, and in just a general state of disrepair....

I am soooooooooo eager to get the house in order before the little un comes along (5 - 7 weeks), and I feel completely tied! I'm frustrated and angry, I want to do something but I don't know what! I'm not mad at the landlord, he has done EVERYTHING that has been asked of him, but the letting agents and the contractors want their bloomin heads examined! I don't even know if i'm being unreasonable, I'm just furious!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think this post is for anyone who doesn't have kids!

Just because someone is pregnant, or someones girlfriend is pregnant does not, sorry SHOULD NOT, make them a social outcast!!!!

OMFG! I'm getting really really really pissed off at the number of my "Friends" who are having parties and what not and not inviting me or Jamie because ... "well we just assumed you wouldn't want to come" - let me tell you, maybe not but A FUCKING INVITE WOULDN'T GO A MISS!!!!

They do say in the books that your friends start acting differently towards you but FFS, being made to become a recluse because those who are supposed to care about you decide that you obviously don't want to go out is horrible!

Short but to the fucking point, and yes by the number of profanities and implied profanities in this post you can tell how fucking pissed off I am!

Not of work (well one week of work but that's not why i'm beyond p'd off)!!!!

So today, miracle of miracles, someone let me sit down again, I think that makes a grand total of 3 in 3 months... 2 guys and a girl for the record!!! I actually thought he was getting off the bus but he was only standing up to let me sit down... bless him.

So, I'm seated, next to me is an early 20's emo f**k, a mid 30's receptionist type, sat beside a late 30's early 40's mutton dressed as lamb bitch with a big blue fake ring, and some old folk... Another pregnant lady gets on the bus... NOT ONE of these perfectly healthy BITCHES got up for her! I was furious... although i didn't say anything, my bad, to be honest though, I was scared of being lynched for pointing out that thes COOOOOWWWWS have no manners! the thing is ALL of these manky skankies were sat in PRIORITY seats!!!!!

I'M GOING FREAKING MENTAL HERE!

To top it off, I got in touch with LRT, because I felt that a 20cm x 10cm sign saying 'priority seats' isn't really enough to get folk to vacate for the elderly or infirm... their response...

"While we currently have notices in place encouraging passengers to vacate the seats for elderly and infirm, past experience has shown that unfortunately in today's society some passengers are not willing to co-operate or assist fellow passengers." - well not if you've got a teeny tiny wee notice... what needs to happen is a NAME AND SHAME, these people need to be made to feel guilty for doing this!

I should point out that the "late 30's early 40's mutton dressed as lamb bitch with a big blue fake ring" pissed me off even more when, sat beside the little bin for the tickets, she scrunched hers up and just dropped it on the floor! Seriously, how do you get folk like this to stop being so ARRRGGGHHH!!!

This is really making me have no faith in people at all, every day that I get on the bus, I see evidence that people are dicks! I don't want to think that people are dicks, because the folk I choose to spend time with aren't, I hope that means that even some of those I don't spend time with aren't!!!!!

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere
To Go
That's Why I Want You To
Know

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Ooh!)
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change)

Ok, so maybe this has all been highlighted because I'm pregnant, or maybe it's been highlighted because I have to take the bus to work, rather than use my car (ease of use really), but when did manners cease to exist???????

When I was little, my parents taught me that if an elderly or infirm person gets on a bus, it's my job as the young healthy one to relinquish my seat and let them sit down! Was I the only person that had this???

This morning, I went to get on the bus... I'm not beating about the bush here, I look pregnant... I AM pregnant, and I have a little person weighing down on my pelvis which makes me waddle when I walk, and quite frankly, HURTS when I'm standing! There were no seats on the bus, well no available ones, why? Because I got on at 'grab a grandad hour'? - no!, because it was an infirm outing??? - no, because there was some sort of black hole that swallowed all the seats? - you guessed it... no! The reason that there were no available seats was because some woman in her 20's was utilising the seat next to her, to seat her DOG! There was no way I was standing for the duration of my journey to allow a dog to sit on a seat on the bus, so I simply requested that she move the dog, and I got THE most evil look! I will not be made to feel guilty because someone want's their pooch to sit beside them on the bus when I find it difficult to stand!

What is actually sad, is that this day got worse, in terms of public transport! On my journey home, again, the bus filled up rather quickly. I was sat very near the back of the bus, but I did manage to find a seat! However, a few stops after me, an elderly gentleman got on, with a walking stick! Now, anyone with half an ounce of decency or just a brain cell would think that this guy should be sitting down! There was a girl, again in her 20's sat on one of the priorty seats right in front of this guy... did she move? NO! I actually wanted to scratch her eyes out, but she wasn't the only one. What is actually disturbing, is that this lack of manners are heavily weighted to women! Guys are quite good at relinquishing their seats if someone is in need, but not women!!!!

I ask you, any of you... do you have ANY thoughts on how we can stop this? I am not just saying this because I'm pregnant, I think it's atrocious that an elderly man with a walking stick is made to stand on the bus while a young, perfectly abled little bitch gets to sit down. As it happens, an older woman stood up to let him sit down, but in honesty, in my pre pregnancy days, I would have stood up for her, so I don't think it's right that she did!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I think this little man has an agenda!!! I think his agenda is to make sure that I don't forget he's there!!! LIKE I WOULD!

I woke up this morning, with "the pain", yet again! So, no way was I going into work, to make matters worse, the little un had been uncharacteristically quiet since about 10am yesterday, so obviously I think the worst... the pregnancy malarky is definately not for the faint of heart!

I called the midwife, she advised me to keep an eye on his movements, and make sure there was no "leakage" for want of a better word! Because there are no symptoms but pain, I've just to kinda get on with it, so I'm in work this avo, and to be fair, it's subsiding and not to bad, plus the wee man is having little gymnastic moments to himself, which is lovely. I love feeling him kick me, I look forward to being able to pick out whether it's a hand or a foot or what... although very much suspect he's lying feet down just now!